Last night my mother and her boyfriend took me to see Billy Connolly live at Massey Hall. This guy is hilarious, I really love his stand-up that I've caught on the Internet. His live show last night was also quite funny, but he has aged a bit and was basically just spewing anecdotes for two hours. However, they were incredibly funny and his interpretation of Canada (TREE-O-RAMA) really hit the nail on the head. The best part of his act was the point at which he was describing the funniest thing he had ever heard. After spending a good 10 minutes building up to the joke, he finally gets to the good part: at a talent contest, his good mate was the MC and was interviewing the contestants before they performed. One special act was comprised of a young boy and his uncle, who happened to be in a wheelchair and was missing both his legs. The MC asked the boy, "So, if you don't mind my asking, what happened to your uncle?" The boy answers, "He was a window installer for many years, and one day as he was lifting a sheet of glass to place in the frame, a gust of wind came and knocked it out of his hands, letting it crash into his lap and consequently severing his legs." The MC, trying to move on, says "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Um, so what is it you're doing for us today?" "We're singers" "What have you called yourselves then?" The punch line: "Simon and Half-Uncle!"
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Boondock Saints
Here is a clip from his stand-up quick a few years ago; MASTURBATION, and what to do if you get caught (not safe for work)...
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